


i didn't give up

by transbuck



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Rewrite, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 17:45:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18393284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transbuck/pseuds/transbuck
Summary: "I got blood out here!"Just those five words makes her blood run cold. She whips her head toward the source of the voice, heart beating rapidly in her chest. The only thought in her mind isoh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. The more hopeful part of her mind tries to tell her that maybe it's Doug's blood, maybe Buck finally got the courage to kick his ass. But the rest of her mind is reminding her of the worst case scenario, of Buck being dead. Being reminded of that thought, she immediately books it down the path from the front door of the cabin.





	i didn't give up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OneTrueEmotion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneTrueEmotion/gifts).



> um yea hi, @onetrueemotion has this like. Reverse au so to speak? in case yall arent following them on tumblr (which you SHOULD), they have this au where maddie moved to la originally to be a firefighter, lost contact w buck, and then he shows up bc hes hiding from his abusive husband. and like, yea, from the Beginning ive been heart eyes at that au, but for some reason, tonight, that au has like come into my house and punched me in the face bc im suddenly OBSESSED. maybe bc i was thinking of some angsty prompt in my inbox on tumblr that semi-related? who knows  
> anywho. i hope i can do this au justice bc its got so much amazing and fantastic potential and it just makes my heart melt. as usual, find me on tumblr @diazbuckley. i hope yall enjoy!

Maddie's honestly not paying that much attention to whatever Detective Marks is saying to Athena right about now. She's too busy glancing around the vacant cabin, searching for something,  _anything_ that will tell her that her little brother was here and is safe and alive. The fact that she doesn't immediately see anything makes her feel a little sick to her stomach, but she shoves that feeling aside because she's  _sure_ that she's just not noticing something. It feels like she only just got her baby brother back from his awful husband, she can't lose him because of that jackass again.

"Well, somebody's been here," Athena says, catching Maddie's attention. Athena walks past her and toward the front door of the cabin, and Maddie's head turns to watch her. "And they left in a hurry."

Maddie feels queasy all over again as she watches Athena slowly exit the cabin. She makes her way over to the opened door, pausing in front of the doorframe. The strike plate is totally wrecked. "It's gotta be them, right?" she asks, hand passing over the frame as she follows Athena outside.

"Question now is, which way did they go?" Athena asks, glancing around the snowy landscape.

Maddie comes and stands behind Athena, trying her best to ignore how weak and shaky her knees feel. To say that she's terrified for Buck would be the biggest understatement of her life. Buck always had trouble standing up to Doug, that much was for certain. Buck's grown a lot physically and emotionally since he first came to LA, but who knows if that growth stuck the moment he'd been kidnapped. Maddie sighs, trying to ignore the fear for a moment. "If he's out there and... and he's hurt..." she trails off, glancing over at Athena. She's sure the worry in her eyes is clear.

"They're sending more officers," Detective Marks says from behind them, making his way out of the cabin. Maddie quickly looks over at him, a little incredulous. She almost can't believe that they're really going through all this trouble just to find her little brother, but she's certainly not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Search and rescue's on its way. Choppers, dogs. It's gonna be a full-court press."

Just as Maddie's considering everything he's just said, she hears a voice from the distance. "I got blood out here!"

Just those five words makes her blood run cold. She whips her head toward the source of the voice, heart beating rapidly in her chest. The only thought in her mind is  _oh no_. Oh no, oh no, oh no. The more hopeful part of her mind tries to tell her that maybe it's Doug's blood, maybe Buck finally got the courage to kick his ass. But the rest of her mind is reminding her of the worst case scenario, of Buck being dead. Being reminded of that thought, she immediately books it down the path from the front door of the cabin. "Buck! Buck!" she shouts his name desperately, pushing herself to get  _there_ as fast as she can, though she isn't sure that she wants to know where  _there_ is.

 

***

 

Buck has no idea where he is or where he's going. There's only three things that he's certain of right now: 1. Doug's gone. He's finally gone. Buck's finally, finally free from him, after all these years. 2. Buck is in downright exhausted. He's bruised and bloody and beaten, and he's still bleeding from where he's been stabbed. And 3. Eddie is dead and gone and it's all his fault. Buck forces himself to stop thinking about all of that and start thinking about just finding something other than snow and trees and nothingness.

As his eyes are darting around for anything different than what he's already been staring at for who knows how long, he slips a little under the snow. He gasps a little, hands flying away from his wound to try and catch his balance. Once he's finally caught himself, he continues walking (well, more like stumbling), and when he looks back at the trees and into the distance, he sees a blurry figure hurrying towards him. He squints a little, trying to get himself to focus enough to figure out who the hell it is.

Buck finally manages to focus his eyes enough to see that it's his sister in the distance. He almost can't believe his eyes, but then she's shouting his name and continuing to rush toward him. "Maddie?" he shouts, voice cracking a little as tears start to sting at the corners of his eyes. He really, really hopes that his eyes and ears aren't just playing a trick on him, because he needs her. He needs his big sister. Today's been so long and stressful and  _awful_ and he just needs to finally get to break down in his sister's arms.

"Buck!" Maddie shouts again, and that just confirms it for him.

"Maddie?" he asks again, although he knows he doesn't need to. It's her. It's really her, and he's never felt so relieved in his entire life.

Maddie's close enough to Buck that he can hear her panting, her shouting his name breathlessly.

"Maddie!" Buck shouts through a sob, but he can't break down yet. He can't let himself break down and cry like he's been needing to until he's finally,  _finally_ safe in his sister's arms.

"Hey. Hey, hey," Maddie says loud enough for him to hear as she's getting closer, close enough for him to finally see her face, and just that is enough to make him break down sobbing. The fact that she's hear, that she  _found_ him, is fills him with complete and utter relief. She repeats her words several more times when they finally reach other, and Buck can't help it when he just about collapses from his bone-deep exhaustion. If Maddie weren't there, he'd probably hit the ground, but no, she's there and she's on the ground with him and holding him oh so tightly. "I'm here. I'm here," she whispers to him, arms wrapped around him with a hand in the back of his hair.

"I didn't give up," Buck says through sobs, holding Maddie as close as he can as he just lets all the emotions he's been feeling all day loose. Finally, he lets the tears stream down his face. "I... I didn't give up. I..." he trails off, trying to force himself to breathe through the sobs that rack his body violently.

Maddie pants into his shoulder, clearly struggling to catch her breath. Buck offhandedly wonders how long she's been running for. "You did so good. You did so good," she whispers to him, pulling him just a little bit closer. Buck's content to ignore all the sounds around him as he cries into Maddie's shoulder, focusing on the fact that, for the first time in years, probably, he's finally completely and entirely safe.

 

***

 

When Buck's in the ambulance with Maddie at his side, he finally feels the exhaustion catching up with him. He can't remember the last time he slept. Must be well over 24 hours ago, now that he thinks about it. He only vaguely registers Maddie holding one of his hands with both of his.

"Almost there. You're doing great," Maddie murmurs to him fiercely.

Buck tries to get himself to open his eyes fully, he really does. But every single part of him hurts so much in so many ways that he wants nothing more than to just fall asleep. "Tired," he mumbles weakly. His eyes flutter shut for a moment, and he nearly drifts off to sleep when Maddie suddenly says something else.

"Uh, hey, hey, Buck, I— I know... I know you're tired, but I— I need you to keep your eyes open for me," Maddie tells him, and when Buck feels her hand on his face, he forces his eyes back open just a little. He can vaguely feel her thumb gently rubbing the birthmark just above his eyebrow, and that brings him some comfort—he's reminded of all the times she used to do that to him growing up whenever he was feeling upset. "Yeah, you— you know the drill. Uh-huh." When he opens his eyes fully, he finally realizes that her eyes are red and puffy, but despite that, she's smiling down at him. "Yeah, just, uh... just like that." She sniffles, sitting back and pulling her hand away. Buck briefly mourns the loss of that extra bit of comfort. "Hey, you, uh... you think you had a hard day. Athena and I have been running all over the state looking for you." She gives him a smile that makes him feel warm inside. "I wasn't dressed for snow."

"Me, either," Buck responds gravelly, and when Maddie chuckles from beside him, he can't help but smile a little.

"Athena said she'd, uh... she'd call Bobby," Maddie starts, Buck nodding along as she speaks, "let everyone know that you're okay. They are gonna be... so relieved." She breathes in shakily, glancing away for a moment. "Eddie," she says when she looks back at him. "Eddie most of all."

Oh great, Buck thinks. Here come the waterworks again. He can't help it when tears start stinging at the corners of his eyes again, and he can hardly muster up the energy to fight them off. He decides not to try, letting them pour down his face. "Eddie's alive?" he asks breathlessly.

"Oh, my God. Y... Buck, no, yeah, Ed— Eddie's alive. He, uh..." Maddie trails off a little, letting out a soft huff of laughter. "He— he made it through." Buck can't help the smile that spreads across his face at that, breathing in a shuddering breath. He feels relieved all over again. He had spent the entire day feeling sick to his stomach because he was so convinced that Eddie was gone, that Christopher was suddenly without a father, and that that was all his own fault. Knowing that he's okay, though, makes him feel ecstatic almost. "You both did."

Buck sniffles and nods frantically at that, taking another shuddering breath as he smiles up at his sister. For once in a very, very long time, he isn't scared.

 

***

 

Eddie can't remember the last time he's felt so restless and uncomfortable. Maybe the last time he felt so uncomfortable was when he told Shannon he wanted a divorce, but that wasn't like this discomfort. This discomfort is worse than anything he remembers ever feeling. As he's twiddling his fingers uselessly, a nurse comes into the room. He looks up at her, trying not to look too bored out of his mind.

"How are we doing, Mr. Diaz?" The nurse, Sarah, he thinks her name is, asks as she makes her way over to all of the machines Eddie's hooked up to.

"Ready to get out of here," Eddie says, trying not to sound too bitter as Sarah fiddles around with the different machines.

"Three days after major abdominal surgery? You might want to pace yourself," Sarah says sincerely as she glances down at Eddie.

"I'm gonna start pacing myself up and down these walls pretty soon," Eddie replies, and this time, he's not even trying to hide his bitterness. He's always been a very active person, and being forced into bed rest is quite possibly one of his worst nightmares. One of his other worst nightmares is Buck being gone before he can tell him that he loves him, but Eddie doesn't want to think too much about that.

"Well, maybe..." Sarah starts, glancing back at the entrance to his room. "Your friend can distract you." She gives him a small smile before turning and walking toward the door.

Eddie shuts his eyes for half a moment, about to let out a weary sigh as he wonders whose turn it is to visit him and stay with him for a while. But when he looks toward the door, tears fill his eyes when he sees who's there. He almost can't believe that it's  _Buck_ who's being pushed over to his side in a wheelchair. He's almost afraid that he's asleep and that this is another one of his cruel dreams where Buck's so close yet so far away from him. But then Buck's right at the end of his bed, and despite looking exhausted and like complete and utter shit with bandages on the side of his face, Eddie can't help but think that Buck is the most beautiful man he's ever seen. No, scratch that. Buck's the most beautiful  _person_ he's ever seen. He chuckles breathlessly, a little in shock, almost, before he finally gets the courage to speak. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?"

Buck shrugs a little, glances away for a moment, and it makes Eddie's heart ache when he sees how red and glassy those beautiful blue eyes of his are. "I am in the hospital," he says with a slightly hopeful smile. Eddie can't help the wide grin that spreads across his face because holy  _shit_ has he missed that gorgeous voice. "I got myself transferred," he continues, breathing out shakily as he stands with a hand pressed tight against his upper thigh.

Eddie panics a little when he sees pain flit across Buck's face. "No, no, no..." he says quietly almost immediately, a hand reaching out a little despite the fact that he knows he can't reach Buck.

"No," Buck says, moving closer to Eddie. He sits down on the edge of the bed, and Eddie feels fuzzy inside when he feels the warmth radiating off of Buck. He's real, and he's here, and that floods Eddie with relief. "All this," Buck continues, gesturing at the cuts on his face and whatever's hurting his leg, "is... gonna heal." Now that his face is close, so close that Eddie could touch it if he had the energy, he can see tears on Buck's face. Eddie's heart aches for him. "I'm gonna be okay." Buck sets his hand on Eddie's forearm, his other hand remaining firmly on the injury on his leg, and just that bit of contact alone makes Eddie feel like he's on cloud nine. He brings his other hand over to rest on top of Buck's. "How are you feeling?"

"Starting to hate hospitals," Eddie manages, chuckling a little. When Buck chuckles, too, Eddie feels even happier because _he_ caused that joy that spreads across Buck's face. Buck brings his other hand up to Eddie's arm. "But this is much better than being here for Chris. No stressing over my kid getting surgery, so..." He smiles up at Buck before inhaling sharply. He fidgets a little under his blanket as he forces himself to voice all of the concerns he's been having. "I thought..." he pauses, forces himself to breathe as he looks down at where both of their hands are resting on top of each other. "I really thought that..." he can't seem to force the rest of the words out, tears threatening to spill over.

"Me, too," Buck murmurs, voice cracking a little.

Eddie laughs, a little in shock. Of course Buck knew what he was going to say. He always seems to. "You're okay," he whispers, incredulous as he brings his left hand up to gently hold Buck's upper right arm.

Buck sniffles and nods. " _We're_ okay," he whispers before sniffling again. Eddie glances down for a moment, and when he looks back up, he sees Buck leaning closer to him. Before he knows it, Buck's pressing his lips to his, and it's everything Eddie's ever dreamed of and more. He's fantasized about their first kiss more times than he'd like to admit, and although he wishes he weren't in a hospital bed and wishes Buck weren't in so much pain right about now, this is far better than anything his mind could have ever come with. Buck moves his lips against Eddie's gently and languidly, as if they have all the time in the world. As far as Eddie's concerned, they  _do_. They're both stuck in the hospital, recovering from their injuries for who knows as long. Buck pulls away for a moment, presumably to catch his breath, before leaning right back in and pressing their lips together again. Eddie feels like he's in heaven right about now, content settling deep in his stomach as Buck sets the pace, and for the first time in quite a long time, Eddie's almost certain that everything's going to be okay.


End file.
